I want to live my own life!
tHE cHURCH IS TOO AUTHORITATIVE
Some say the Church is too controlling. For instance why does the Catholic Church accept only some of the Books of the Bible. The Bishop's together, the successors of the Apostles, are those who make the final decisions in the Roman Catholic Church. The Pope is the Bishop of Rome and has a special role in the meetings of the Bishops.
The first and one of most dramatic decision of the Apostles took place during the Council of Jerusalem when they decided, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, that the Gentles (non-Jews) who wish to be baptized and follow Jesus did not have to become Jews and undergo circumcision or follow the Jewish dietary laws. (Acts Chapter 15)
Down through the centuries the Bishops, especially when they meet together in an Ecumenical Council have kept the Church faithful to Christ's full message.
A person could ask why the Gnostic Gospels are not included in the Bible. The answer is the early Bishops determined that they did not adequately present the Good News of Jesus Christ.
The authority of the Church is not to control people but to provide them with the proper framework to live their life.
Down through the centuries the Bishops, especially when they meet together in an Ecumenical Council have kept the Church faithful to Christ's full message.
A person could ask why the Gnostic Gospels are not included in the Bible. The answer is the early Bishops determined that they did not adequately present the Good News of Jesus Christ.
The authority of the Church is not to control people but to provide them with the proper framework to live their life.
Summary:
- Just as a referee decides whether or not a play is acceptable so the Hierarchy of the Church (The Bishops) determine what is acceptable and what is not.
- True authority which is neither arbitrary nor dictatorial serves the common good for all.
tHE cHURCH IS TOO FOCUSED ON RULES
Alfred North Whitehead once said,
“The worship of God is not a rule of safety--
it is an adventure of the spirit,
a flight after the unattainable.
The death of religion comes with the
repression of the high hope of adventure.
The book titled, The Freedom of the Hills, is about hiking in the wilderness. It consists of tips and recommendations by people who have traveled in the forests and mountains. The authors discuss the ten essentials, how to read a map, how to build a fire, what to take in a first aid kit, etc. A person can ignore these suggestions but should they become lost or hurt they will wish they hadn’t.
In a similar way the Book of Wisdom and Proverbs in the Bible are compilations of wise sayings. One can ignore them but most are still worthwhile guidelines today.
“The worship of God is not a rule of safety--
it is an adventure of the spirit,
a flight after the unattainable.
The death of religion comes with the
repression of the high hope of adventure.
The book titled, The Freedom of the Hills, is about hiking in the wilderness. It consists of tips and recommendations by people who have traveled in the forests and mountains. The authors discuss the ten essentials, how to read a map, how to build a fire, what to take in a first aid kit, etc. A person can ignore these suggestions but should they become lost or hurt they will wish they hadn’t.
In a similar way the Book of Wisdom and Proverbs in the Bible are compilations of wise sayings. One can ignore them but most are still worthwhile guidelines today.
Every community, be it a pick-up basketball game, the home, the city or state or the Church, needs a certain number of rules to promote the well being of its members. It is fairly easy to understand the rules that govern driving. Signs setting speed limits, and traffic signal lights letting drivers know when to "go" or "stop" are designed to protect all drivers.
In a somewhat similar way, the Church's rules are meant to help its members grow and mature as disciples of the Risen Christ. Over a period of time these rules are modified or changed as is done when children grow up in the home or circumstances change in society.
In a somewhat similar way, the Church's rules are meant to help its members grow and mature as disciples of the Risen Christ. Over a period of time these rules are modified or changed as is done when children grow up in the home or circumstances change in society.
Summary:
- Rules are made in order to preserve certain values.
- The Church's rules have been developed over many years and should be carefully understood before they are ignored.
- It would be important to distinguish Church rules from Church teaching.
tHE cHURCH IS TOO JUDGMENTAL AND CAUSES PEOPLE TO FEEL GUILTY
When speaking about judgment, it is important to distinguish between judging a person and judging an action or behavior. The Church never judges a person or a person's heart. The Church does judge whether or not certain actions are in keeping with what Jesus taught.
Toxic guilt, which leaves a person feeling guilty about almost all they do is not the same as healthy guilt which prompts a person to take certain steps to correct inappropriate behavior.
Toxic guilt, which leaves a person feeling guilty about almost all they do is not the same as healthy guilt which prompts a person to take certain steps to correct inappropriate behavior.
Parents judge their children's behavior and point out what they should or should not do. When a child does something they should not do e.g., failing to clean up their room or lying, they should feel guilty. Healthy guilt is an impetus to correct behavior.
There is such a thing as toxic guilt. Toxic guilt occurs when a person questions themselves about almost everything and become scrupulous about what they do or don't do. Neither parents nor the Church wish to cause another to live with toxic guilt.
To avoid toxic guilt a person needs to determine what and why something is being asked of another. It is important to distinguish actions which are expected out of a particular way the person(s) charge (e.g., parents) wishes to do them and which are moral issues, e.g. telling the truth. Then a way needs to be pointed out on how to correct, in a healthy way, what needs to be corrected.
There is such a thing as toxic guilt. Toxic guilt occurs when a person questions themselves about almost everything and become scrupulous about what they do or don't do. Neither parents nor the Church wish to cause another to live with toxic guilt.
To avoid toxic guilt a person needs to determine what and why something is being asked of another. It is important to distinguish actions which are expected out of a particular way the person(s) charge (e.g., parents) wishes to do them and which are moral issues, e.g. telling the truth. Then a way needs to be pointed out on how to correct, in a healthy way, what needs to be corrected.
Summary:
- When speaking about judgment it is important to distinguish between judging a person and judging an action or behavior.
- The Church never judges a person. The Church does say that certain actions either are or are not in keeping with what she believes Jesus taught. What Jesus taught comes from the Bible and Tradition which is handed down through both words and practice.
- Guilt can be healthy when is prompts a person to correct what needs to be corrected. Toxic guilt, which causes a person to endlessly question themselves can be eliminated when a person determines what and why something is being asked of them so that they can make a reasonable judgment about what to do.
The Church has an outdated view on Life-ISSUES, MARRIAGE, DIVORCE, GENDER
Some feel that the Church has an outdated view on sexuality and almost all the life issues ranging from contraception to abortion to marriage.
It is true that there is a signifcant difference between the Church's view and society's view on many of these issues. It is only by considering the Church's perspective that a person can see that the many elements fit together in an integrated whole.
Marriage
The Church follows Jesus' own words when it comes to marriage. Jesus said very clearly and without any doubt that marriage from the beginning was meant to be between one man and one woman. ( Matt 19:4-8 and Mk 10:6-9)
Because the marital relationship is so fundamental to both the civil and Church society and because St. Paul speaks of this relationship being like that of Christ and the Church (Eph 5:31:33), the Church has come to call Marriage the Sacrament of Matrimony. The loving and life-giving relationship of husband and wife is like that of Christ and the Church. In witnessing the life of a couple, the community of the Church is to say, "Yes, that's how the Risen Christ loves us."
Like Jesus the Church always proclaims the ideal. Jesus said, "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you." (Lk 6:27-28) He told his disciples, "Love one another as I have loved you." (Jn 13:14) The fact that we fall short of doing what Jesus commands does not mean that we should cease trying. The Church is there to assure us that The Lord forgives us our failues and is there to assist us in trying again, and again and again. That is why Pope Francis said, "God never tires of forgiving us so we should never tire of asking for forgiveness."
Same Sex "Marriges":
Even though polygamy was practiced by his ancestors, Jesus was very clear that polygamy did not meet the fullness of what he meant by marriage. The Church is very clear that same sex "marriages" do not do so either.
LGBTQ
Those who consider themselves to be Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning/Queer, are people first and foremost. Like every person they deserve respect, acceptance and care from others.
Contraception:
Parents have a responsbility and duty to plan for their children. This includes when and how many children to have.
Abortion
Abortion is the deliberate taking of the life of an unborn child no matter what the age. Clearly the Church condemns this practice no matter what the circumstances may be.
Euthanasia:
Euthansia is the directly and deliberate action by a person to end the life of another. It is suicide if a person acts to end his or her own life.
The Church teaches that we are called to die well and like St. Francis of Assisi welcome Sister Death which opens the door to eternal life.
- Life is God's most fundamental gift to us. What each person seeks is more life. It is through experiences of goodness, beauty, truth, oneness and life itself that a person seeks even more of these qualities summed up by saying "life".
- Sexuality is first of all a person's maleness or femaleness. Sexuality is an energy which drives us to search for more life. Sex is a genital activity which is a central and key expression of sexuality.
- The Church values each person's sexuality. The Church upholds sexual intercourse as a sacred act which unites a man and a woman in a love which is both self-giving and life-giving.
- As a result the Church is going to promote the ideal for sexuality and marriage.
Marriage
The Church follows Jesus' own words when it comes to marriage. Jesus said very clearly and without any doubt that marriage from the beginning was meant to be between one man and one woman. ( Matt 19:4-8 and Mk 10:6-9)
Because the marital relationship is so fundamental to both the civil and Church society and because St. Paul speaks of this relationship being like that of Christ and the Church (Eph 5:31:33), the Church has come to call Marriage the Sacrament of Matrimony. The loving and life-giving relationship of husband and wife is like that of Christ and the Church. In witnessing the life of a couple, the community of the Church is to say, "Yes, that's how the Risen Christ loves us."
Like Jesus the Church always proclaims the ideal. Jesus said, "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you." (Lk 6:27-28) He told his disciples, "Love one another as I have loved you." (Jn 13:14) The fact that we fall short of doing what Jesus commands does not mean that we should cease trying. The Church is there to assure us that The Lord forgives us our failues and is there to assist us in trying again, and again and again. That is why Pope Francis said, "God never tires of forgiving us so we should never tire of asking for forgiveness."
Same Sex "Marriges":
Even though polygamy was practiced by his ancestors, Jesus was very clear that polygamy did not meet the fullness of what he meant by marriage. The Church is very clear that same sex "marriages" do not do so either.
- This does not mean that these "marriages" are without love or fail to be life-giving in some way, but not in the essential ways that flow from a marriage between a man and a woman.
- Those in same sex "marriages" are to be respected, accepted and cared for by both those in the Church and in the larger society.
LGBTQ
Those who consider themselves to be Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning/Queer, are people first and foremost. Like every person they deserve respect, acceptance and care from others.
- It is unfortunate but true that for many years this has not been the case and many have suffered greatly.
- In 1997 the United States Bishops commissioned a Pastoral Letter to parents entitled "Always our Children." This was a signifcant attempt on the part of the Church to clarify her position on this issue.
- More recently Fr. James Martin wrote a book entitled "Building A Bridge". Click here to see a YouTube Video.
- The Church provides pastoral care to all people to help them follow the Risen Christ more fully.
Contraception:
Parents have a responsbility and duty to plan for their children. This includes when and how many children to have.
- It has been the constant teaching of the Church that artificial barriers to conception, such as taking "The Pill" or the use of condoms to prevent conception, is a failure to live up to what the act of intercourse in marriage is meant to be.
- The unintended consequences of a contraceptive marriage for the couple and society are substantial as Pope Paul VI pointed out in the Encyclical letter "Humanae Vitae", Human Life. See paragraph # 17
Abortion
Abortion is the deliberate taking of the life of an unborn child no matter what the age. Clearly the Church condemns this practice no matter what the circumstances may be.
- The Church is there to support mothers who find themselves pregnant in difficult circumstances.
- The Church is there to provide support for both women and men who have been involved in abortion.
Euthanasia:
Euthansia is the directly and deliberate action by a person to end the life of another. It is suicide if a person acts to end his or her own life.
The Church teaches that we are called to die well and like St. Francis of Assisi welcome Sister Death which opens the door to eternal life.
Summary
- Because Life is God's first and greatest gift to us, the Church will always be a defender and protector of life from the first moment of conception until natural death.
- Each one of the life issues above can be very complex. The Church's response to each one depends on the fundamental values and the particular circumstances involved and yet they have an integration and wholeness which many do not immediately grasp.
- As Saint Pope John Paul II said, "God is always ready to forgive a person, no matter what the wrong has been. Those who have fallen short or sinned in any way can become the best witnesses of the principles and values that flow from Christ and the Church regarding life.